Ten Minutes With
Radio host and family therapist
Trevor Crow of Southport is one of the most respected marriage and family counselors in the area. A Harvard grad, she is host of Keeping Connected, a call-in talk radio show on WDJZ 1530. As a mom and step-mom, she is no stranger to dealing with family dynamics and how things can go awry at holiday time. We sat down with her to get insights on handling the ups and downs of the holiday season.
The holidays are about parties, gifts, and time off. Why is everyone so stressed?
Stress and anxiety are an integral part of our daily existence that we don’t know how to slow down. We need to turn off the phones, the iPads, etc., and connect with human beings. My hope is that we all learn to take a deep breath and focus on the current of positive feelings that comes with reconnecting with family.
Do you have any family members that drive you crazy at holiday time?
Yes, of course. But I better not mention any names. I try to focus on one positive aspect of that person. If I disagree with an opinion being expressed, I’ll take a deep breath and ask myself why I’m having such a strong reaction. Often the very thing that drives you crazy about that person is a characteristic you possess—so it may be a great opportunity to self-examine a bit more closely.
Who would you pick, alive or deceased, to join you for a holiday meal?
I have always been fascinated by Cleopatra. She was probably the best-educated woman of her time, spoke several languages, was powerful, extraordinarily wealthy, and must have been pretty sexy to land both Caesar and Marc Antony.
In this age of texting and IM, are we damaging our connections with people?
Although I feel like social media and electronic communication have increased our connections, I am not sure they have deepened them. Sherry Turkle at MIT thinks we are losing connections and are really alone when we might think we are together. My rule is no phones at the table, and we must have an appropriate dinner conversation. Usually that starts with “What was the grossest thing that happened today?”
How do you handle the winter blues?
When we don’t get enough sunshine or vitamin D, it can really affect our mood. There is a disorder called SAD, or Seasonal Affective Disorder. There is light therapy available for this. I combat it by taking walks outdoors no matter what the weather—fresh air and any bit of sunshine helps.
New Year’s is cold, dull, and people hung-over. Why not start resolutions in May?
Hungover is the perfect time to resolve to change something. However, it can be discouraging if we take on something too ambitious. Successfully changing something small will later give you the confidence to change something bigger.
What’s the best advice you’ve received?
I guess I didn’t take that excellent advice, Mom. I was in a rebellious stage. But the good news is, I have two beautiful children from that mistake—and it got me closer to the love of my life.